I Hate Bath Crayons (and other things I don't like that in theory I'm supposed to love)

I hate bath crayons.
In theory, they're great: give your kids them in the tub and they can create wonderful art while they bathe.
Why? Why do kids need to draw in the tub? Isn't that what paper is for? Aren't there literally thousands of products on the market for creating art work? shops dedicated exclusively to art? So why do we need to encourage art in the bath? We don't. Especially since the bless-ed things take so much time and effort to clean up. It's enough that I have to get the kid out of the tub, dried, diapered and in pjs... but now I have to turn around and clean up the eye sore that was once a nice cleanly tiled white tub. Boo bath crayons.
Other things I don't like that in theory I'm supposed to love:
*puppies
*kittens
*animals in the house (P.S. I have a dog and a cat living in the house)
*other people's animals in my house
*other people's animals in their house
*the McRib
*Starbucks (because it's an addition and I'm not giving it up)
*electronic sign in
*the person in front of me using coupons at the check out
*the person in front of me using coupons at the self check out
*the person in front of me using coupons at the self check out and getting an error message
*Ikea shopping carts
*the beep my car makes when the driver door is open and the key is in the ignition
*new feather pillows (it takes years to pull out the quills... you know, you have to do the hand scan before you lay your head down or you end up getting stabbed in the eye with something that feels like a needle, and you wonder how a needle could have gotten in your pillow. But it's an invisible needle and you can see it, so maybe it's just your imagination. Then you lay your head back down and you get stabbed in your ear... the cycle starts all over... but it's victory when you find that little sticker and pull it out and keeps coming and coming out through the fibers of your pillow case. And then you name that long giant feather Moby Dick.